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If you’re like me and you love these bad movies, there are plenty of funny scenes to appease you. Especially if the law suits against Asylum continue, then in three years these movies will have titles like Shark Attack in the Grotto or Busty Beauties get Hammer-Head. Every minor occurrence is followed by multiple reaction shots of bikini clad ladies screaming or running. Nine out of ten of the students are busty women who, if they aren’t wearing a bikini are either made fun of for their one-pieces, or are wearing a shirt that they later take off in order to cover one of the men’s wounds. There are a bizarre, if not creepy, number of shots of Electra laying on the deck of the ship in a bikini, zooming in and out like the eyes of a lusty animated wolf.
#BIKINI ATOLL MUTATED SHARKS MOVIE#
I’ve never seen a director so excited to have Carmen Electra in their movie since Baywatch: White Thunder at Glacier Bay.
#BIKINI ATOLL MUTATED SHARKS FULL#
2-Headed shark attack isn’t full of nudity, but it wants to be. Now we just need gas.”Īsylum films are fairly desperate, but I’ve never seen them moving in the direction of straight to DVD American Pie films that make them money on teenagers who want to rent films full of nudity, until now. “The boat just needed a little tuning up. Part of the fun of the idea of a two-headed shark is what interesting ways it might kill someone, or that while the shark is eating someone you still aren’t safe, and at least 2-Headed Shark Attack “tries” to fulfill on that promise. It’s not particularly convincing, but it’s evidence that anyone tried.
In 2-Headed Shark Attack they still reuse plenty of footage but they also have a sequence where the shark attacks a guy and throws him up in the air and slaps him with its 1-tail, and another shot where they attack someone and the two heads pull the victim apart underwater like the T-Rex’s (T-Rexi?) in The Lost World. What I mean is that in most Asylum movies they simply create a few CG animations for their creature and then reuse them, so that the monsters never actually feel like they are interacting with the scene. The other “good” “thing” about the CG is that it is sometimes actually unique to the scene taking place. Note: I just realized how much better this movie would have been if one of the shark heads had an eyepatch and the other one had some missing teeth or a beard, so that they were individualized like a two-headed ogre. The two heads of the shark have pronounced jowls that are either an homage to the design of Bruce from Jaws or evidence that the makers of 2-Headed Shark Attack don’t know what sharks actually look like, so they just re-watched Jaws and modeled the shark heads after that. There “are” “good” “things” about 2-Headed Shark Attack. There are “good” things about 2-Headed Shark Attack.
As they plunder the island for “scrap metal” to fix the boat they find plenty of reasons to motor back and forth between the atoll and the ship so that the shark has more opportunities to pick them off. This is the point where you look up the definition of an atoll, since this one is apparently sinking because the two-headed shark keeps running into the corral supporting it. When they come upon the carcass of a large shark that the shark-and-a-half has killed, they accidentally guide it into their propeller, punching a slow leak in the hull, and they are forced to evacuate to the atoll. You know what’s scarier than a two-headed shark? Two sharks.Ģ-Headed Shark Attack drops a boat full of students who are studying… sextants?… into the waters around an unstable atoll where a mutated shark with two heads has been eating water-skiers two at a time. If you’ve been listening to the show, you know that I love torturing myself with really bad films, and I love the idea of bad shark movies with low budgets and silly premises, but I haven’t seen enough of them. But not just any stuff, this stuff is real, genuine shit that no one has delusions about being good-except, it appears, maybe Brooke Hogan.
#BIKINI ATOLL MUTATED SHARKS SERIES#
But I’m starting a series here that I’ll return to throughout the year where I’m gonna hate on stuff. Our motto this past year has been “Want to like the movie” because I truly believe that cynicism is becoming far to prevalent in the film criticism world, it’s become too popular to hate things that other people like or that are just trying to be fun because it makes the critic look smart.
#BIKINI ATOLL MUTATED SHARKS HOW TO#
I’m really not sure how to reconcile what I’m about to do.
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